Crimson Sky
by Scimitarmoon
Summary: Gallifrey, there aren't enough words in all of Earth's language to describe what it was truly like. To put it in the simplest of terms, it is beautiful, and it is gone.


Spoilers: Season 3, Gridlock.

Summary: The Doctor had only begun to tell Martha what Gallifrey was like. He could write an encyclopaedia about it and only provide a glimpse into the true beauty of the planet that was, there weren't enough words in all of Earth's languages to describe it.

AN: Edited.

* * *

A warm breeze caresses the silver leaves. They flicker in the sunlight and tinkle like wind chimes - you'll never here such a beautiful sound as those symphonic canopies; they are silent now. The perfect concert carries itself into my sleeping ears and stirs me gently, I awaken but do not open my eyes. I would quite happily lie here under the terracotta suns, with the sounds of the forest and my daughter's shouts echoing around me forever. In my dream her infancy is preserved, her voice is light and childish, and I can hear her feet splashing softly into the iron-stained stream . I picture the suns sinking into the horizon, flushing the sky with hues of crimson like your earth roses.

I hear the delicate shuffle of a woman's bare feet on the fine sand. She asks me if I would like a drink, because she senses that I am not sleeping, and I say no I would not. I can almost feel her fingers brush my hair, but not quite. She says 'I love you, dear', and I smile. Well, her language expresses countless nuances and idiosyncrasies of meaning which can▒t easily be said using English, because it might take all day. Your language is complex in its own way, I mean, it has all these rules which it breaks, and homophones and stuff, but its Primitive in comparison. No offence. So anyway. Where was I? That's right- and she moves away and asks my daughter the same question, but she is far too busy having fun to listen.

In the distance the ocean roars and a sudden gust of wind floods the air with the scent of lime. The woman complains and goes back inside. I wish she would stay, her presence soothes me and I┘

The universe is infinitely vast in space and in time, but she makes it feel tiny. She never once left Gallifrey, she never saw beyond the red sky, she never wanted to. I asked and asked if she would come with me, but the answer was always the same.

When I am with her I forget the time vortex, all I see is a woman sheltered by a finite sky and standing on finite ground, and it is all I want. No stars for me, thanks. Forget the galaxy of civilisations, all the people laughing and loving and hating and crying for help, and saying 'come, come and see how brilliant we are!'. Forget all that.

But I like the smell. That is, of the ocean. It bring me closer to the sea. Our only sea. Its very small, like a puddle in a desert, which makes it so very precious. In my dream I'm not the starry eyed fool wandering the galaxy for far too long, I'm just me, all I could ever want is before me underneath a crimson sky. It is more than enough, and I don't leave a daughter pleading 'oh, stay for just a little bit longer' time after time. She isn't a little bit older every time I see her, because I don't open my eyes.

I was never there, you know? I was off gallivanting around Earth's history thwarting this and fixing that. Preventing Cyberman invasion, making paper aeroplanes with Leonardo Da Vinci, philosophising with David Hume. Too busy to think about the world, and the people I left behind. I chose not to watch my kid grow up, I chose to leave behind a world that was nearing its unnatural end. What a fool I was! I should never have left. Shouldn't I know not to take stuff like that for granted?

But I would be dead! Yes Martha, I would be dead, with all of the flowers and the trees and the red sky and all of the people, but what's one more dead man? Living's a high price: I had to watch it all burn.

So in my dream Gallifrey lives on, teaming with life and my daughter is only a hair's breadth away. I can imagine that if I just reached out with my hand, like this, I could touch her face and she would be real again. Its nice to pretend, though, just for a bit which I'm sure you understand. In reality I'll never see any of it again. I know that if I open my eyes I'll be staring at TARDIS ceiling, and I'll have to remember everything I lost. That I left it all behind.

The Doctor's eyes glistened, 'I've never told anyone that before. I suppose that makes you a bit special.'

Martha noticed that the rain had stopped. The single New Earth sun cast crisp yellow light into the depths of the under city and warmed the top of her head. ⌠but if you'd died, there would be nobody left to remember.'

'No.' The Doctor rubbed his chin, 'But knowing something so wonderful is gone isn't so great.'

Martha shook her head. She felt so sad for the Doctor and his world, but it didn't seem sufficient. How could she possibly feel sorry enough for all that loss? 'I can't imagine, Doctor. I don't know what I'd so if Earth was destroyed, how I'd live knowing that I could never go home again, loosing my whole family like that. How could I live with that?'

The Doctor stared at Martha's shoes. They were covered in mud 'I don't know how I live with it. Rose helped, but she's gone, and well, I suppose I'll have to go on living without her as well. I lost my family and friends and I survived, what's one more person?'

⌠One person at all is too many, but the world isn't fair, bad things happen and you just have to keep going. It's hard, but you just have to.'

'Yeah. It's hard.'

'You've still got time travel. And me.'Martha said.

The Doctor smiled unexpectedly. 'Yes, I have!' he said, his tone lightening. He appeared happy again, but Martha knew that he wasn't really. 'Let's go back to the TARDIS, shall we? I'll take you somewhere really brilliant this time - I know! Barcelona! I always keep meaning to know but never seem to get there.'


End file.
